Could Un-forgiveness get in the way of your healing?

What do I want in 2020?

Abundance, worth, love and purpose.

Everyday I wake up at 4:45, I head to the bathroom to go potty and brush my teeth. Then I go to the kitchen to start making our morning drinks and turning on my first podcast of the day. My husband enjoys a fat coffee, for me a fat AIP Rasa coffee. Then off to the bedroom to make the bed and get dressed.

Once I am dressed, I head back to the kitchen table to pray, read my bible and journal.

Every day begins the same.

Every day I choose to get myself into alignment with my purpose.

I believe that we are made of 3 parts: Body, Mind and Spirit. Healing is a decision, a choice that involves all 3 parts. We have to get our heads, hearts and hands in alignment if we want to change and make that change lasting.

What I think in my head, how I feel in my heart affects what actions I take with my hands.

What does all this have to do with un-forgiveness?

Let me ask you a question, are you sick? Are you struggling with health issues? Are you in pain? Have you been given a diagnosis? Do you feel like your body has let you down even though you have been health conscience? Or maybe you are disappointed because you have neglected your health and now you are facing the consequences of that neglect?

Wherever you are, you need to forgive if you are hoping to heal. For me, I had to let go of what I thought my health should look like based on a lifetime of making healthy choices. I have been active with my body and consuming healthy foods all my life. However, in 2010, my health started spiraling, I was at a loss. I was frustrated and that frustration would last for quite a while as I searched and searched for answers.

My time I spend in prayer and in my bible is where I find my abundance, worth, love and also my purpose. I need to be reminded of all I have at the beginning of every day in order to live out my purpose. Even though my health has changed and struggled, I still have purpose that goes beyond figuring out how to feel better.

My health let me down. Even with all the hard work and attention I put into it, it still let me down. I have to forgive myself and my body of all the expectations that I had and be grateful for what I do have.

Forgiveness is not a one time event. It's an ongoing process, especially if you have a chronic illness. I have Spondylopathy, an inflammatory arthritis that affects my spine and my large joints. It can be very exhausting and very painful. But I have found such relief with the right eating plan and movement choices. Every morning I wake up like a rusted tin-man. But as I move about my morning ritual I loosen up and my heart and soul lighten and brighten.

I can either respond to my body or respond to my Savior, the one who truly gives me purpose. I trust Him. I believe in Him. This is what I do with my stress and feelings, I give them away. I truly believe that I was called for a purpose and no matter what state my health or life is in, I will be equipped to carry out that purpose.

This attitude and acknowledgement gives me such peace and joy. It drives my purpose.

I am all about keeping my stress levels low.

Unresolved un-forgiveness is a stress. Stress raises inflammation in the body. Raised inflammation leads to illness and disease and in my case disease progression and pain.

Forgiveness also means I agree to cease control of the outcome of my health.

In my case there is no cure. I have 1 of 100 types of Rheumatic diseases. The only option is management through diet, lifestyle and medications. I choose diet and lifestyle at this point. I hope to avoid pain medications, immunosuppressants and steroid drugs.

I also have come to accept, through forgiveness that no matter how much I work with my diet and lifestyle, I am not in FULL control of my future and that is ok! I let go of this everyday and the stress that comes with it in order to heal both spiritually and physically.

This is all possible because of the story that I believe about myself. I believe that I have a purpose. I believe that I am equipped to live it out.

Have you grieved your health yet? Have you needed to?

If you are struggling with health issues don't forget this important step. The Body, the Mind and Soul all work together to create a beautiful harmony, even if that harmony has a diagnosis, it can still be beautiful.

~Brandi